“Give up the feeling of responsibility, let go your hold, resign the care of your destiny to higher powers, be genuinely indifferent as to what becomes of it all and you will find not only that you gain a perfect inward relief, but often also, in addition, the particular goods you sincerely thought you were renouncing.” —William James

The heat settles in like a wet blanket—oppressive heat, stifling humidity—temperatures pushed upward to triple digits. The sauna-like conditions almost makes it hurt to breathe the air. It is too hot, too humid to even sweat. The surrounding air already weighs so heavy with heat and humidity that it can’t absorb any more from my body.

Nonetheless, my heart struggles valiantly to surrender, pumping more blood to my skin to release the extra heat that has nowhere to go. My heart beats fast even when I’m sitting still. I can’t sleep at night, but toss and turn in the soggy sheets. My husband has to sleep in another room or we fear we risk spontaneous combustion.

The intensity of discomfort generated by this heat wave reminds me of times when I’ve tried to renounce a bad habit that I really wanted to keep, after all. Stubbornly I determined to change. Equally stubbornly, I refused to budge. The heat of the conflict could make me break out in a sweat even alone in a cool room. Nothing I did altered the situation until I handed it over to the hands of God, Buddha, a Higher Power. Then the sizzling stalemate lifted from me like I had stepped into another atmosphere, rarer, cooler, more refined.